Tuesday, September 5, 2006

Smashed, Smacked, Spanked!

"With smashed windows, we smacked our foreheads, and we had prepare to get spanked soon" - Fatass Michelle.

Nice cushion seat you have, Mich!

I have tried my best to questioned Servant *001 about the smashed window. Her responses were much likely questionable. It took minutes to ease off her queasiness. I make her a cup of hot coffee. Not a sign of sympathy though. It is just to remind her about her chapped lips...

Whisky : Take your time... Come on, take a sip...
Servant *001 : Thank you, Master. I'd appreciate it very much. (*slurpp*)

Within minutes, she goes hyper. She was sweating profusely; gasping for more oxygen from the thin air. This is not what I have expected though. This is pathetic... Oh dog! I'm speechless... Although the doors were closed, I still can hear the loud croaking voice of Servant *001's uncle bragging about the benefits of his new invention of Tongkat Ali Coffee. Boy oh boy... Things are going wrong... So wrong...

Uncle : Ooi, where is the cup that I call you to hold ah? Where do you put it?
Whisky : Oh boy...
Uncle : Aiyo, I have a date with Marilyn and Monroe tonight la. Siti, please make me 2 cups of Tongkat Ali Coffee.
Whisky : Phew...

No more hot coffees this time. Hot Lavender tea was served to soothe her woes.

Whisky : Don't show me that woebegone face again! Show it to your parents...
Servant *001 : But... but....
Whisky : Told you to take the detachable CD player with you! But you won't listen! Hmphh! Serves you right!
Servant *001 : How do you know?!

Whisky : Sarjan Rosli relayed the incident to me. I must say that you are very lucky though!
Servant *001: Lucky?! You are way out of your mind, Master!

Whisky : Isn't bumping into hot gorgeous police officers with strong physique considered luc-kee?
Servant *001: (*drools*)

Whisky : Musing again?! Let's get back to the main topic; to clarify the statements you have just make.
Servant *001 : Potong stim la... (*frowns*)

Their first pit stop; Wangsa Maju's. Those polices are the most friendliest people I've ever met - Servant *001

Their second pit stop; Sentul's

Real hot hunks over there - Servant *001


This is where I park my Rolls Royce everyday - Whisky

They had a chit-chat session with Sarjan Rosli - his BAHASA BAKU is cunn!

The drunkard was chasing away both of my servant's. Yelling "Mau cari gado? I carik lu!!!"

Erm.... hitched???

A more detailed investigation is required. Hence, I have made a promise to lend a leg. ( Generally, dogs have no HANDS ). Photos were posted for the sake of the "evidence".

Evidence 1; Police Report

Evidence 2; Pix of the car's accs

Whisky : When was it?
Servant *001 : Not today.
Whisky : What day was it?
Servant *001 : Holi-day.

Answer me wisely... Or I'll hit you with this!!!

Whisky held up his electric baton, showing no mercy...

Hmmpph... this baton is heavy!

Servant *001 : Friday, 1633pm.
Whisky : That's more like it... Hmm, what happened?

Servant *001 : Car break-in.


Oh my dog, my bohhh-ttleee - Molly

Whisky : Where?
Servant *001 : In a public parking lot, in front of TAR college.

Servant *001's shadow...

My mini-fan!

Whisky : How do you find out that your car was 'ripped off'?
Servant *001 : Molly told me. She said she notice bits of glass glistening on the pavement nearby.

I can't help it! "I WANT BUTTIE!!!"


Nice cushion

Whisky : Window smashed?
Servant *001 : Abuden?! Bare wires can be seen protruding from the dash and the CD player was ripped off from the kick panels.
Whisky : Anything stolen?
Servant *001 : A detachable CD player, and a Touch N' Go Card.

Full view

Closer view

Whisky : That's all?
Servant *001 : (*hold onto her fist*)
Whisky : Okay, okay, that was one of my lame joke... By the way, what car was it?
Servant *001 : A Canary... I mean, a blue Kenari.
Whisky : (*face full of dissapointment*). I think you better keep this incident to yourself...

Servant *001 : But.. but...
Whisky : No butt... I mean, no BUT...

Servant *001 : =.='
Whisky : See you the next time when your BMW's window get smashed!!

Yeah, I'd admit that I was too harsh on her. I'm a DOG. So, bear with me... Btw, do take good care of your car because simple break-in's may cause various repercussions;

Blood... blood... Nah, just a minor cut

Your lunch (if you'd like to put your lunch box etc in your car) might be eaten by someone else

With no windows, you'll be feeling a lil proud

Fork out your monthly income just to buy the detachable CD-player back

Anyway, here are some steps to avoid car theft and break-ins... Take good care of your car and be ALERT at all times...
  • Keep the car locked and windows rolled up.
  • Choose a well-lit parking lot where it is near lots of people.
  • Keep valuables in your car hidden.
  • Invest in a detachable CD player.
  • Consider buying a visible mechanical locking device to lock the steering wheel.
  • On an auto theft alarm system.
  • Last but not least, leave ME in your car - the safest and the cheapest!
ME :)

Signing out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux