Monday, October 16, 2006

Wu Bai's Homecoming

It's been awhile since my last paw-print-journal. Whom to be blame again? Fatass Michelle, of course. Yea, I'm still the same old haggard Whisky. It is pretty unambiguous that I am one abrasive pup over here. Abrasive, yet a cutie pie in Mich's heart. I'm cute... VERY cute... As cute as a fat toddler with dimples on his cheek... Teehee.. :B

Without Fatass Michelle, will not exists. Generally, I contribute quite a lot to this paw-print-journal thingie (*smiled shyly*). Moving on to Fatass Mich, what form of contributions does she gives in? Well, switching on/off the PC, feeding me 'beggin strips' when I'm blogging, snapping my macho pix day and night, and begging her elder brother to correct my grammatical errors in my paw-print-journal. I am really delighted with her prompt service. But somehow, I should say; I was once very delighted with her prompt service. Do take note of the highligthed past tense. She's getting fatter (she was once a fatass) and lazier day by day.

Whisky : Hey, wake up, wake up... It's morning... (*bark aloud*)
Fatass Mich :
Dun la. I'm not a morning person. Stop bothering me!

Whisky :
Have you ever heard of Marcus Arelius quotes?

Fatass Mich :
Tell me.

Whisky :
"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy and to love." Blogging in the morning will be fun though. Come on! Let's do it together.

Fatass Mich :
Hmm, to me, sunrise is nature's way of telling me to go to bed.

Whisky :
Grr... Okay okay, just bring me those 'beef strips'. I wont bother you anymore.

Fatass Mich :
Nah, take it...

Whisky :
Wuuu... I smell something~ (*in an euphoric tone with ecstasy-filled expressions*)

Fatass Mich : Yea, I can smell the fresh crisp morning air. (*examining the smell*)
Whisky : No-no-no... (*devilish grin*)
Fatass Mich : Fwahh!!! Oh my dog!!! Whisky... Please don't tell me it's your fart! It's been years since you've fart. (*chokes and gasps for real clean air*)
Whisky : You're super paranoid. It's the smell of these beef-strips... =.="
Whisky : Dogged you, Mich! You've ruined my mood! And my self-esteem! I hate you. You're the worst servant I've ever met! You, you, you...... I'm speechless (*frowns*).
Fatass Mich : I'm sorry... So sorry. I don't mean to hurt you. Okay okay, I'll buy you mo
re beef-strips and a pack of Purina's Funtastix strips in Uncle's petshop later, kays?... Happy??
Whisky :
Oww, you're just the best owner I've ever met!
Fatass Mich : Oh yea, by the way, no offence, you really fart just now, didn't you? (*smirked*)

So, Fatass Mich brought me along to the petshop. It was located somewhere in Ampang. Since we will walk past one of the dim petshop, we plan to browse through the dog's accessories in that shop. Speaking the truth, I do think that the place was pretty filthy. The shop owner does rear almost all kinds of lil buggies. Let-loose-buggies. You name it, they have it. Serious! Not exaggerating though (*gulp*). Ranging from small beetles resting on the gunny sack, red ants marching on the side-walk, black ants clustering on the ground of their main entrance, tiny spiders busy weaving their cobwebs, white termites gnawing on the old wooden shelves, small cockroaches playing hide-and-seek and last, but not least, real black mozzies buzzing around to find some fat asses to suck on. (Hey mozzies, Fatass Mich is right behind of me... Aim your needle high!). However, the bug issue doesn't bug me anymore after I've bumped into her...

She's super cute. A cute and young fluffy pup she is. She is so tiny and fragile. Her size is equivalent to half of Fatass Mich's ass. Fluffy and neon white. Fatass Mich was standing still, admiring this cute lil' pup. She's a pure SHIT TZU. Pardon me, what I meant was Shih Tzu (*winks*). RM50 per night. BOL (Bark Out Loud). Just kidding. She costs RM+/- 1800. Fuyoo...

We exchange paw-numbers. I hope that we'll be more compatible after a few sms-ing session (*winks*). Hmm, how I wish to have a partner NOW... (*day-dreaming*) The shop had no ceiling fans nor lights. Stuffy and humid. Pity that lil' Shih Tzu. It was scorching hot as we browse through the expensive yet dust-filled clothes for doggies. We was sweating profusely. Correct me; she was sweating profusely. So, we head towards our final destination to get my beef-strips and Purina's Funtastix strip; Fatass Mich's not-really-close-uncle's shop. The place was an air-conditioned petshop. Evaporation of Fatass Mich's sweat was maximised. She wanted to stay there for half an hour more although we have bought all the things that we wanted.

Fatass Mich : At last, I'm not sweating like a pig anymore. Phew...
Whisky : Sweat or not, you're still a lively, fat and prosperous pig. (BOL)
Fatass Mich : Wey, this white-thingie is cute wey...
Whisky : Grr... You're not concentrating! By the way, what is so cute about that thing??!!

Fatass Mich : Not cute??!! Are you blind? Oh yea, You're blinded by love from just now. Forget tim.
Whisky : Okay only la. Not really cute. It doesn't mean that all white-fur-doggies are cute. Don't be stereotypical.
Fatass Mich : I'm not! You see, he take better pictures than you do. He poses nicely whenever we snap his pix.
Whisky : Poses nicely?!! And that's why you said he's cute? (*In disbelief*)
Fatass Mich : Abuden?

Whisky : Poser! (*disgusted*)

Fatass Mich : Eey, he can stand on 2 legs. He's such a cutie... He's so multi-talented. Better than you...
Whisky : Sure la, this is what you should expect from RM+/- 1650 doggies like him! He's expensive because of the costs of training that he went; standing on 2 legs and posing. Multi-talented just because he had went to training courses before. I'm different, I had natural talent. This makes me look natural... Not like those mutts with training certs under their belts.
Fatass Mich : You're barking too much.
Whisky : =.="

Fatass Mich : Wey, see, another pose. So classy...
Whisky : Eey, albino-thingie, can you please stop doing poses that can make me puke?

Fatass Mich : Oh my dog, he's too cute. I'm gonna tell mom about this!
Whisky : Tell what?! Just tell mom that this dog is not worth a cent! Deal... (*smirked*)
Fatass Mich : Whisky... You'll be getting a partner soon! With him, our lives will be merrier. (*musing*)
Whisky : What?!!! I'm speechless!
Fatass Mich : I know you're going to be speechless. And I know you're the happiest doggie in the world right now. You shouldn't be so happy right now since we haven't tell mom yet! You're SO enthusiastic!!! (*smiled*)
Whisky : ..... (*faints*)

So, that's it. I get a male partner instead of a female partner. Dogged you thrice, Mich! You've just ruined my love-life. It differs a lot since I'm a male. Talking about lust and love at the same time. Unless I'm a gay, then, I'll go for that white albino-thingie! Dogs can talk if that happens! I'm not gay... (*dissapointed smile*). Day 1; Fatass Mich was so excited in naming that albino dude. Piece of advice; Albino or Anonymous will be a purrfect name for him (*winks*).

Mom and Fatass Mich's lil brother favours "Wu Bai" as the albino dude's name. They'd think that the name really suits him; since "Wu Bai" means "white/five hundred" (Mandarin translated to English). Besides, they'd think it's cool to name a dog as one of the famous artist in Taiwan; Wu Bai.

But seriously, naming him "Rum" will be purrfect because Rum and Whisky falls into the same category; alcoholic drinks - easier for that albino-dude to remember since he can be deaf at times. Anyway, "Rufus" was chosen to be his name - for life. He kept posing... and posing.... - for life too! (*annoyed*).

He was being loved by everyone from the first day he came into the family. I hated him - for life. He's a glutton albino-pup. He eats hurriedly as if he's been starving for 1 month! Goodness gracious! And he's VERY fat. Round bulging belly that he had... Although he's multi-talented, Fatass Mich's cousins expect more from him. They didn't bother me though... (*yay*). Specifically, they are not interested in me - at all! (*frowns*). To save cost, Fatass Mich's cousins plan to train that albino-pup by their own. Rufus the albino-pup started off with Master Keat's "froga" pose. He passed!

Then, it was Lesson 2; Master Kidd's cat-walk class. "Walk on 2 legs, instead of 4 legs. Walk like a real hot model; Yoanna," said Master Kidd. Surprisingly, he passed with flying colors... (*frowns*)

Alas, it was the finals. "To be a successful pup, you need to master the hardest technique of all; posing," utter Master Eugenie. He passed - again! This time, he gets a CCC for his great performance! Congrats albino-pup! Here's your passing cert; (CCC) canine camwhore cert (*grin*). BOL.

Fatass Mich was proud of him because she thinks that the albino-pup did his utmost performance in order to graduate and to get the CCC. For the time being, the albino-pup is practising his new posing techniques to please Fatass Mich. I managed to catch a glimpse of him doing cute poses. There whole loads of them. (*puke*)... Poser maut!

He posed as a cute fluffy toy...

He posed as a pup dying of boredom...

He posed as a real pup...

He didn't pose! I THINK he was sad beacause he got scolded by Fatass Mich. BOL... (*Devilish grin*)

He posed cutely...(*duh*)

He posed exactly like me... With tongue sticking out... What the dog?! (*annoyed*)

He smiled and chuckles after knowing that he had mastered my well-known pose; sticking-out-the-tongue-as-long-as-you can technique. Oh my dog... DO NOT tell me that he's way professional than I am! I'll be very mad... (*frowns*)

Duhh... Fatass Mich will love him VERY much since he's doing plethora of cute poses... Soon, Fatass Mich will only love me from the bottom of her butt. No point... (*frowns*)

Just kidding (*winks*). Everybody lurves me! Anyway, I WILL try to lurve the albino-dude as long as Fatass Mich is still alive... If she's not, so long lil' albino-dude... BOL (Bark Out Loud).... Time for grabbing Rufus's buttie! (*yay*). Off I go...

Signing out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux