Baked In A Batch

From the title itself, it's pretty obvious that it'll be under the baking good's label. I was dumb-founded when Fatass planned to bake various unbakes into baked cookies. Biscuits or cookies, it does not matter much. What matters the most were the ingredients used, time to be baked in the oven and the handler. Okay, not an ideal catch-phrase I've used here. Does not ryhme together, but at least, readers might get the idea what I'm trying to barked out of it.




Since Fatass Mich and Servante' De Molly had scratched their head for days, thinking about Esther's buhbye-gifts, I suggested that a box of cookies would be an ideal and perfect gift. Make it easy, would it be a bit of fun if you get to chow down on C-grade assorted cookies in Melbourne while having a good cuppa and flipping your Physics exercise book while your friends are celebrating CNY in the latter's cousin's house? (*Winks*). In short, the C-grade assorted cookies might remind you about Molly and the infamous C-grade baker, Fatass. (*Devilish grin*). So, both of them agreed on my brainy brainstormed ideas. Servante' De Molly will get those ingredients while Fatass Mich will figure what cut-out dough would be like. Having a good thought of real chocolate-box cookies made by Fatass, it might be a senseless thought and I might be brainless by the minute I talk about it. Fatass Mich was determined and convinces us that she can handle the unbaked dough in weeks. Mind me, I was exaggerating! Aiming to catch all the reader's attention for the sake of this bloggie for a few seconds before getting to this line.




Moving on, it would be a perfect timing since Fatass plans to bake the unbakes for her best butts-buds-pals, close friends and mum's friends. So, it's like killing two birds with one dried poo. It's more hassle-free.




Anyway, it took Fatass Mich one sleepless night to get the ooey goey dough into the oven and lastly, into the containers and disposable plastic's. Although it doesn't seemed to be as good as what it would look like, at least, there's a few lines of words hidden in the baked dough. Take a bite on it, you'll get what I mean. Sincerity, care, love and poos. A big applause and owhhh. For the attempt to simplify them, I'll kick off the cute word; 'poos'.




I've counted. Exactly, baked them in a batch, Fatass successfully got 8 C-grade cookies. It was what most Chinese human beings would call for; when it comes to betting their wholesome hard-earned money on 3D's, 4D's, 5D's, 6D's - my version of D's. Eight, 8, Lapan; which translates into the word 'fatt' in Cantonese. 'Fatt' goes along with 'choy'. So, it's 'fatt choy', which means longevity and being prosperous. Besides, 'fatt' does go with Rufus and fatass too. Think hard. (*Smiles Lamely*).




Before laying off her hands on the electrical mixer, Fatass jotted all the ingredients and recipes from all sorts of cooking book. Then, she looked out for refrigerated cookies. To name a few, almond cookies, dark choc chips cookies and lemon biz. To save time, she get her fatass off the chair and mix the ingredients for a few of the planned-out refrigerated ones, then only to the "straight away into the oven-ones". Refrigerated cookies are the ones which need to be stored 30 minutes+ into the fridge before popping them out into the preheated oven. After the cooling and hardened process, the cookie dough will be much easier to be cut-out with cut-out moulds.




Almond cookies were the first batch. Rolled into a long cylinder with approx 3cm in diameter before they were refrigerated. Simple recipe; flour, almond essence, butter, castor sugar were incurred, but had the expensive ingredient; 200g of finely chopped almonds for a tastier almond cookie. RM4.90 for 100g. Do the maths. And the outcome for the recipe was about 1 red-covered container. Approx 5-6 dozen depending how thick and wide the cookie was. They look inauspicious when they were half-way baked. They do look like fry tofu when they were baked, look like, but texture wise; I can assure you that it's not. How we wished it was, where it crumbles when we had our first bite on it. And that shiny part glistening on its upper surface was indeed a bad idea; eggwashed by beaten egg whites and egg yolks. Crunchier but almond cookies should be soft. Should be. Tends to be.




Getting to the refrigerator back and forth to get the dark choc chips cookie dough and to make sure that they were cold and solid enough to withstand the knife-cutting part, it was fun. Fun for me to see Fatass doing the job. What goes back and forth? Fatass. If there's back and forth, there must be something to do with up and down. To ease off your boredom, here's a quick riddle. What goes up and down? Hmmm... I bet you'll know the answer. (*Smiles Lamely*).




Shape does matter. Sizes too. It deters the baking time. The verdict; the flatter cut-out cookies were a lot crunchier and darker. The half-rounded poo-look-alike was softer, tasted like how rock cookie was. Fatass did put some toasted nuts in it, nuts... Not macadamias. (*Frowns*).




Lemon biz was, erm. It had gone into a huge oven-make-over. All flattened out. Probably due to the double action baking powder. I thought the bigger it was, the better it is. Not 'I', Fatass that is. She's wrong. Anyhow, it turned out to be a real biz. Too lemoney. Dipped into the icing and powdered sugar just to make it look more edible. (*Grin*).




While waiting for the refrigerated cookies to be baked ones, Fatass Mich hurriedly crawled in exhaustion towards the table where the electrical mixer was placed. To wreck her nerves, I purposely chivvied her. I gave her an innocuous remark though. I'm not a meanie afterall. (*Angelic Smile*). Moving on, it's something related to CNY. Chinese pretzels were not complex and Fatass had fun "tying" them.



Effortlessly easy. Paws down. With easy-to-find daily essential items; flour, eggs, butter, salt and sugar. Why not? Well, chinese pretzels, that is! The pretzels were tied cutely. To be exact, it's 'weirdly', but that part was as easy as D-O-G. The frying part was nicely done by Christina. Thank you very much, Christina. Here, I wanna apologize for chewing your hair that day. (*Devilish Laughter*).




Choc Chips Cookie was next. Differs from the black ones; dark choc chips cookie. The only similarities were the choc chips and butter used. The weight of the ingredients incurred were so much different, and this had yellow coloring added in it. Texture wise, this cookie is softer. However, it still maintain its crunchiness, though not as crunchy as the black ones. Besides, smells buttery than the latter. Margerine does the magic.




Ahh, freshly baked somemore. That's where the aroma gets into my sensitive part of all; with my scent receptors awakens, my big black nose.




Typically, this is a pressed cookie dough. Got a croissant-alike cookie by using the cookie-dough-presser. If you're as imaginative as I am, you might see some sea shells with a small black poo on top of them. (*Smiles*). Since Fatass Mich is well-known for her lazy lifestyle, it is not surprising that she spoon the batter to the tray rather than giving the cookie-dough-presser a try.




Moving on, here comes another cut-out cookie. The peanut cookies. Not a nut-aholic. But this is yet another uncomplicated recipe that new self-proclaimed baker should try. Mind me. I'm an angel at heart.




The cut-out moulds were more like a sakura flower. And after popping the unbaked to the preheated oven, it turned out to be a star. Blame the wheatflour. (*Smiles*).




See the yellow-brownish thingy, which looked kinda flaky and thin on the surface of the peanut cookie? It's all because of the beaten eggs. The cookies were eggwashed before putting them into the oven.




Here comes the altered recipe which was altered from the peanut cookies. Choc bits and cocoa were added in it. Tasted much like chocolate cookie crumbles.




Found a cuter mould, a rabbit cut-out mould. Hmm, it's a playboy logo. Well, the ears always get stucked onto the moulds. So, Fatass made only some out of those playboy-bunny moulds. Consume loads of our time. (*Yawns*)




From the peanut cookie recipe, Fatass Michelle omitted the nuts and fold in finely chopped almonds and replaced granulated sugar with castor sugar. Since Valentine's coming so soon, why not something fancy and colorful like a pink cookie, most likely the best mould for it is the heart-shaped ones. So, strawberry emulco was added. Pink colorings was all gone. So, strawberry emulco is a good substitution for that - the emulco is all we have at that time. To some, the cookie smelt like BENADRYL. To others, it gives them the idea that the cookie should be a 'Strawberry Cookie'. (*Smiles*).




After cooling the baked cookies on a rack, it's time to store them into the containers. The only packaging we have were can-be-microwaved plastic containers, red-covered plastic containers, white breakfast bag and biz plastic bag. Red-covered plastic containers need a huge amount of baked cookies to filled them up. That's what we got for Esther, a buh-bye gift for her cause she's going Aus, Melb to pursue her Physics degree. (*Smiles*). I've chosen the biz plastic bag for Fatass best butts-buds and her close friends since it's more convenient and assorted cookies would look better in those bags. Job done! (*Hurray*)




It was super tiring but worth-while. Quite an experience for Fatass. Looking on the brighter side, we should be happy because glutton Rufus and I get to grab a bite on some of those choc-free cookies. Wonderful experience and a good number of cookies to start off with, EIGHT! (*Yay*)



Signing Out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux

All Black's

I've recently bumped into a baking site and found out something which interests me... This includes Fatass Mich. Fatass barked that the cute tiny weeny lil poos looked delicious. For an avid chocolate lover, it's impossible to say NO to that cute black poo posted in a food site; which I had accidentally stumbled upon. Babbling about macadamias and chocolate chips, this black poo does include them and it is undeniably scrumptious.



Fatass had a try on making them. We fought over the macadamias. Since we all know Fatass is sort of a cheapie, she had substituted the macadamias with nuts. Finely chopped peanuts were toasted in the oven to bring out the flavor and aroma of - nuts! As usual, we compete against one another. Who gets to make something out of the given ingredients will get a free slave-service for a day. For the first few minutes, Fatass was seen mixing butter, eggs, flour, cocoa, brown sugar, castor sugar, chocolate bits and chopped nuts with a mixer while I was busy chunking all the macadamias - not to toast or do the grinding part, but to eat them. About 20 minutes later, I've finally chewed and swallowed the pack of macadamias while on the other hand, Fatass seemed to be so busy spooning the batter into the greased tray. Fatass and I was counting impatiently when there's a minute left before the unbaked becomes baked, when the oven "tinks". Her unbaked cookies need 8 minutes to be done. Mine was a lot faster than that. She counted with her fingers while I was counting using my cute furry paws. Six seconds left - not an accurate timing but it's an approximation thingie.



Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

"Psstt"



Whisky : Ahh~ (*sweats*). Alas! I let it all out - at once. All done! (*smiles with a saracastic expression*)
Fatass Mich : OH MY DOG!!



Signing Out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux

To Spice Blogs Up

Blogs with loads of vain pictures can actually take up more spaces than we realised. For a quick example, see me. Blogs with gazzillion of same coloured trebuchet-alphas and words will bore me to death, blogs which interests me are exceptional though. Rather spending your quality time on Adobe or Photoshop, why not try on slides, card generator etc. I found no-pix-blogs were not so dull and bored anymore, with the help of fancy old-looking library cards from blyberg.net, typically human beings called them the catalog card generator.


With loads of pix, just to grouped them into a batch, of one particular album that is "doggies" for instance, slide would be a perfect option. Given a choice of various eye-catching designs, borders, frames, skins and sizes. Easy yet not-time consuming.

Anyhow, it's shocking to know that I'm the last living thing on the E-earth who know stuffs about this. Come on, most of the bloggers knew what's slides and card generators. So, it IS shocking. And I'm very very outdated. As the old adage goes; it's never too old to learn.



Signing Out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux

Boobies & Babies

Last week, we went to Fatass Mich's not-so-close uncle's petshop. I was there. With my black and blue pet cargo. Once we were there, I stumbled upon a group of cam-whorers. Precisely, the doggie family, goldies. The pack of golden retrievers. Our doggie family! And to be 100% more accurate, it's Bobby's babies. In other words, it's Boobies babies. Bobby/Boobie/Bob/Blondie. Quite a plethora of nicks he had. Boobie sounds great though. BOL. Before proceeding any further, it is wise for me to post up some macho and vain snapshots of Boobie (*smacked by Boobie*). Okay, Bobby, that is. T.T




To make this paw-prints post intriguing, Boobie suggests that suspension would be good. Well, to Boobie, show your boobies and this will make the readers get intrigued and go huh hah. Enough said (*smacked by Boobie again*). Paw-prints post logo... (*forcely*)




And here goes the macho sexyback. Suspend, suspend, suspend.




Ahah!! Boobie is showing what monstrous and grostesque means; with his appearance, of course. BOL (*smacked thrice*).




As usual, he's a bit of my character; get aroused by bitches. Ooh-la-la~




Fatass Mich : Woo, Goldies are always people's favourite.
Whisky : Not anymore when you bumped into our version of Goldie; Boobie. (*chuckles*)
Fatass Mich : Well, as I know, Goldies or generally known as Golden Retrievers are formerly originated from Great Britain. And do take note that Golden Retrievers and Labrador are two diff breeds although they fall under the same category; retrievers.
Whisky : Our Boobie was born in Chow Kit though. (*chuckles*)
Boobie : Do you want this? (*raised his gigantic paws*)
Whisky : Okay, okay. You explain about your family then... (*sulking*)
Boobie : Most Goldies have smooth and wavy golden or cream coats. Fawn, to be exact. Goldies are easily groomed. Unlike Silky Terriers. (*while staring at Whisky*)
Whisky : What's wrong?? At least my coat is silkier than yours!
Boobie : We goldies are all loveable, intelligent, calm, alert and sensitive dog with a very good memory. We don't bark or yap non-stop, and we love people. And none the other, family. We are one family pet. An ideal family companion. Unlike someone else. (*while staring at Whisky*)
Whisky : Sociable konon. Btw, sensitive isn't a good thing okay!
Boobie : 50/50. If you treat us harshly and badly; like how you snap at me now, you are now harming my accomodating nature.
Whisky : Hmmph... To cut short, just say EMO la.
Boobie : Overall, we Goldies need more exercise than the average doggies. So, most of us are multi-talented. In other words, we love to swim, play tug of war, retrieve frisbees and fly-ball. Ehem, cam-whoring included. Besides, we can get along very well with most living things. And we love humans to the max. Easily trained somemore!
Fatass Mich : Ohh. That is why most Goldies were trained exclusively to guide the disabled people.
Boobie : That's right. We called it assistance doggie. Besides, the bigger the skull and the paws of the Goldie, the more pricey it is!
Fatass Mich : No wonder Golden Retrievers are popular doggies.
Whisky : Cut the crap. (*angrily said*)
Fatass Mich : Macho-nyer Bobby!!!
Boobie : (*posing macho-ly*)
Whisky : =.='

Back to his babies, I must say, it's a whole bunch of them. However, it needs 3 more to maketh a team of football doggie players. Dribble, dribble, dribble. Or let's make it another way round, it needs an additional of one pupsie to form a baseball team. So, guess. How many were there? To conclude this so-called-confusing and calculative lame question, it's 8 of them. Boobie, you're the man and the strong dada of the week. Moving on, as the old adage goes; pictures are worth millions of words. So, let's not waste any time.




Posting more snapshots of those cute canine camwhore expertise that I've met in the petshop. Sweet, aren't they?







Argumentative, yet they look like fluffy fawn dandelions. Aww...






Aww... Wait. Is he already dead??




A common sight to see these cam-whorers dozing off at daytime.




And for that kind of pupsies overloaded with gratifying talents, it's kind of pricey to me. With that sum of money, I can approx purchase 1500 beef-sticks. And that's equivalent to almost 3 months supply of scrumptious treats.




But somehow, to some extend, it's worth that price because their innocent and fat appearances will definitely melt your heart away. Just look at him...




After some doubts and uncertainty, Boobie assured that these pack of Goldies belongs to him. He also vows that he will not ever do it again. Making babies and making love with strangers. BOL.




Anyway, he's goddamn thin and haggard-looking right after a day or perhaps, two; after joining the love-making scene. Poor you. I can really sense that you're one part of my soul. FYI, I'm darn skinny too. What differs between Boobie and me is; I'm hot, he's not! XD (*signature of devilish grin*)




Fatass Mich : Enough of poking fun at Bobby... Pity him.
Whisky : Pity your fatass.
Fatass Mich : What the dog?! I'm speechless. =.=
Whisky : Good. That's what I attempted to. So, fatass. What's in that thing?
Fatass Mich : What thing?? Do clearly explain your clouded and perplexing question.
Whisky : Let me rephrase the Q, P-brain (pea-brain). I asked what's in that air-tight container?!!
Fatass Mich : Pea-brain?! =.= Well, it's something edible and chocolatey and kahluas and dessicated coconuts and.... (*Whisky cuts in*)





Whisky : Oh yeah, just to remind you of something! P-brain as in Pui-Yi's brain. That is your brain, owner (*smiles sweetly*). I forgot to tell you that I have finished my food today and cleaned my bowl. It was so shiny by then.
Fatass Mich : Uh-huh.
Whisky : Erm. And I cleaned off Rufus's bowl as well.
Fatass Mich : Hmm.
Whisky : Perrrrrrr-leaseeeeeeeeeeee (*with sparkling eyes and sincere begging*)





Fatass Mich : Do grab a bite; for my own sake. :)





Whisky : Yumm... What's the name of these poos? Cakes, I mean. (*gluttonly chewed a piece of it*)
Fatass Mich : Erm... Imperfect Chocolatte' Cakes?? And one more; Coconut Bites! (*nervously said*)
Whisky : =.= (*stopped chewing anything that he's currently chewing/stupified*)



Signing Out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux

My Cloistered Clone

It's been awhile since I posted my last paw-prints post. Awhile. To be exact, it's ten days. Very well, Fatass Michelle told me that there's a DSL malfunctioning thingie going on. Can't get into the net. It was an upsetting moment. Anyway, I did not go all huh-hah about that though. Minor probs; that's what I have thought. Fatass have been wandering around in most cheap-skate cyber cafe' just to go online while craving on the outdated lala online game; RAN. Thanks to my second servant; Molly (*evilish grin*). Going all huh-hah once the connection got laggy. And now, she's feeling very uplifted because Telekom had already sent a human being to our place to fix things up.

Sitting in an upright position with a rigid grace while facing the computer screen, I am now typing this posts which is somehow related to a lost clone of mine. Or maybe he's in heaven now, still wondering and thinking how he got up there. Got rammed by a car or got killed by some what-so-ever kidnappers. Kidnapped, commit suicide, got rammed... The list goes on. Euthanized? Perhaps... His owner was very responsible indeed. Pinning up the detailed info about that lost clone of mine on the lamp posts, handing out the A4-sized, black and white sheets to most of the terraces post-box in his residential area. Puppy love, I guess? (*Bark Out Loud*)





Fatass Mich : Woaa. He does really look like you though.
Whisky : =.='




Fatass Mich : Same age and same places that you guys were staying summore?! Separated from birth ah?
Whisky : What the dog?! I'm more well-groomed than he is! And obviously, I'm macho-er.
Fatass Mich : And do you wanna add up anything??
Whisky : Add what???
Fatass Mich : "I take better cam-whore pix" (*while mimicking Whisky's expression*)
Whisky : Ahhh~ That should be another one. Good one, Mich! Gooooood servant!!
Fatass Mich : =.='
Whisky : Btw, the reward listed here is quite a lot. I smelt money. Ka-ching! (*money sign can be seen from his big brown eyes*)
Fatass Mich : Buahahaha. Me too!!!
Whisky : Come. Let's get going. I'll be sniffing the whole housing area. Once I found some doggie urine stain, I'll ring you up. By then, you come over to the place that I want you to. And we'll sort things out then. Now, you better stay right in the kennel. House! KENNEL! Opps, house! And wait for the phone to ring.
Fatass Mich : Yeah. Get going. To the car, I say. (*musing $$$ while grabbing Whisky along*)
Whisky : Good girl... Now. You do fit the word; RESPONSIBLE. Thought you're gonna let me wander off alone to the residential area... (*owhhh*)





However, it's not that outrageous though. That's a usual reaction to most owners whom had just lost their fav and most loved poochie. The chances of that sympathetic owner to get back his poochie would be slightly lower since the pooch he just lost was a pedigree. Precisely, it's a Silkie. An AST; Australian Silky Terrier. Anyway, to sum things up, it is a better option for the owners that is to resort to dog detective whenever their beloved pooch is lost. A highly recommended alternative. Trustable yet pro. At least, they know the real nitty-gritty of the whole lost-pet thingie. Second option; check the puppy portal website under the lost, missing, stolen pets column or malaysia's reowned spca; in case the lost pupsie was caught by a man working under the DBKL Dog Catching Unit. The lost poochies can be reclaimed at the DBKL dog pound though. Next, check The Star's Newspaper. Under Classifieds, that is under the "lost and found" category. It's all free. No charges. Maybe there is! Not too sure though. But at least, it is very much cheaper than offering RM1K + as a reward for those good samaritans who have just brought back your pooch to you.




In the blue canary; the car;
Fatass Mich : Whisky, I won't be seeing you already. (*sniffles*)
Whisky : Lol. Don't be so emo. Although it does sounds like a bit of a perilous adventure, I can assure you that it is more than that. Well, master is always a master. Gonna sacrifice a bit. Anyway, I'll be back in a few minutes though. Wait and see. As you have already known, I have a sensitive nose. So, getting that clone-pupsie is as easy as D-O-G.
Fatass Mich : (*smiling all of a sudden while wiping away the tears*)
Whisky : Emo la you. Btw, where are you dropping me? I thought it's just a 5 minutes drive?
Fatass Mich : (*wicked smile*)
Whisky : Do not tell me that you... You... You are??
Fatass Mich : Yes, I am. You're getting a new owner soon. BOL.... (*evilish laughter*)
Whisky : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~



Signing Out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux

No One Gives A Damn

So whattttttt? (*cockiness shown*)
Okay okay. That was not what I meant just now (*smiles*). Will be posting up paw-prints post of the Hong Kong and China trip thingie very soon. 2 weeks from now?? Soon. VERY soon. Loads of foodies' pix though. It should be interesting. Should be, I guess. And yet, will be posting more paw-prints posts although I know I'm barking to myself over here (*sniffles*). Anyway, for some refreshments, ( if only you are interested in my pawblog ) here are some black and white fatasses' camwhore shots.





The one and only sketch of the albino fatass. (*winks*)




Based on this...




Holy fatasses. (*devilish grin*)





Alas, the last one! A fat albino pup waving goodbye.



I'm not in any of those snapshots though. My pix worth more than those two fatasses. So, don't ask. Yea, I'm resilient. But that doesn't mean that I'm still happy with it; Fatass Mich snapping photos of Rufus instead of me (*sniffles*). Oh yea, Fat Rufus do need a haircut. Since Fatass Mich is seldom at home nowadays due to some hectic and sucky shifts, I'll be good and will TRY to groom lil fatass for you (*winks*). And Fatass Mich, while you're out, I've been seriously injured by your precious lil fatass Rufus. Headbutts ( p/s: Rufus's head is huge for a typical Schnauzer. Told you! He's F-A-T! ). Smartass doing rounds and whispering something about fatasses. And all of a sudden, "doink". No. It's more like "dushheddd"!



Grr, time for revenge!


Signing Out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux

Calls It A Day

Ten hours of standing while assisting the living creatures.
Ten hours of sleeping.
Three hours for miscellaneous.
One more goes to me and Fattie Rufus.
Fatass Mich calls it a day.



Signing Out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux

Brand New Year

Signing Out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux

Shake-Your-Bootey Competition

Wiggle it off and shake your bootey. If you're as free as I am; tommorow; that is on the 31st of December, do get your lazy bum off from your comfy stool and get to Msia's South City Plaza. To be exact, it's around 7pm. Ground floor. If so happened you do see a fatass and superannuated woman waving a "Go Cryssie, Jade and Natasha" banner, blowing her antique whistle while chowing her popcorns when she's not on duty with her whistle, that's the place. And that's Fatass Mich of course! Typically, there's a dance competition right there. And boy, Cryssie and her gang of sexays did well and manage to get into the finals. It's the finals. Yay. Hip hip hurrayy!!! Overall, it's kinda entertaining. Mind me! It's VERY very entertaining with Cryssie's bootylicious dance moves, of course. With different genres of hits, various styles of choreography, different ages of dancers; ranging from 8 to I-dunno-how-old years old and loads of la-la's. But hey, you don't wanna miss this opportunity to see our Msia's Shakira though! Hail a cab, ride a bike or even jog there, it's worth to be there! As for Cryssie, Jade and Natasha, do break a leg! *Bootey*...



Signing Out;
Master Whisky.De.Bordeaux